Impact Wrestling on AXS TV Debut Results 10/29/19

Impact Wrestling results from their debut episode on AXS TV on 10/29/19 from Windsor, Ontario, Canada at St. Clair College (taped over the weekend):

I’m covering this because it’s the historic first episode on the network, but with so much wrestling around the world each week, I doubt that I will have time to do weekly reports.

Josh Mathews and Don Callis opened the show in the ring and ran down the key matches for tonight. They said it’s the beginning of a new era on AXS TV.

Marufuji vs. Josh Alexander (with Ethan Page)

This is the first ever match on AXS.

Marufuji gets the pin after Sliced Bread #2.

Kind of a slow paced and paint by numbers match aside from Marufuji exploding out at times with kicks and strikes.

They showed Sami Callihan and the rest of OVE entering the building. One of the Crist Brothers was singing the them song of the 1980s classic movie “The Never Ending Story”. Security immediately stopped them and told Callihan that the rest of OVE was banned and they couldn’t be at cage side for his match tonight. He tried to go after the security guard out of anger but then came to his senses and told OVE that they had the night off.

Despite the move to a new network they still aired the obnoxious “That 70s Show” ripoff segment with The Rascalz giving Fallah Bahh stoner philosophy advice on his feud with Michael Elgin.

Rosemary, Jordynne Grace, and Alexia Nicole vs. Taya Valkyrie (with John E. Bravo), Madison Rayne, and Keira Hogan

Grace pinned Valkyrie with an inside cradle.

This was a cluster at the end. It looked like Hogan hurt her shoulder in an exchange with Nicole during the match so she left the ring but stayed at ringside. Rayne refused to be tagged in by Valkyrie but she did make a save on Valkyrie when Grace was about to get the win earlier. Grace then threw her out of the ring leaving Valkyrie alone in the match.

RVD did a promo in a hot tub with his wife Katie Forbes by his side. He said there’s a lot of wrestling on TV these days, about 6 days a week. He said he came up with his own move set in wrestling but everyone steals from him. He said without him there would be no Kenny Omega or The Young Bucks. He said he’s tired of carrying Rhino like he carried ECW and he won’t apologize for turning on Rhino.

The Desi Hit Squad (with Gama Singh) vs. Rich Swann and Willie Mack

Mack pinned Rohit after a double team neck breaker finisher.

An angry Rhino was shown backstage looking for RVD. Jimmy Jacobs told him that RVD was on vacation. Rhino looked in the camera and said he will face RVD at Turning Point and rip him in half with a gore.

An awful promo with Moose was shown from a golf course. He bragged that he’s the greatest multi athlete of all time. He said he was going to hit a hole in one to show how easy it is. He hit the ball then got into an argument with two older guys and accused them of cheating. He threw one of them in the sand trap and dropped the ball right in the cup by hand.

Ken Shamrock came out to the ring for a promo. He was interrupted by Joey Ryan. Ryan told him he can’t quit because he has one more mountain to claim and wanted a match with him. Shamrock at first said he didn’t know who Ryan was then he remembered he was “the penis guy”. He said Ryan’s act is funny but he’s a real fighter and Ryan is a gimmick. Ryan said Shamrock is afraid “to touch it”. Shamrock said he’s not retiring and that was never his announcement. He said he’s there to put the locker room on notice. They agreed to a match for next week. They shook hands and Ryan tried to get him to touch his penis but Shamrock shoved him.

Ace Austin vs. Eddie Edwards in a Street Fight

Austin got the pin as they were fighting on the top rope and he hit Edwards with a back fist and foreign object wristband followed by a blockbuster through table in the ring.

Reno Scum tried to interfere early on but Edwards fought them off with ease.

They used trash cans, trash can lids, chairs, and kendo sticks as weapons. Austin broke Edwards’ kendo stick named “Kenny” in half. There was a cool spot where Austin tried to charge him but Edwards held up an open trash can as a shield and Austin went flying right into it.

A cheery ghost version of Su Yung was wandering around backstage in a white dress. She spoke to The Deaners and said it was nice to meet them. When she walked away they said it was creepier than before but “she’s hot now”.

Johnny Swinger was hitting on Alicia Edwards backstage. He said Don Owen (who’s been dead since 2002) was looking for new talent up in Portland. He said Edwards should come to his hotel so he can smarten her up to the business. Ace Austin walked up and told Swinger to leave because Edwards is married. Austin invited her out to dinner as co-workers and she agreed to “next week”.

Impact Wrestling World Champion Brain Cage vs. Sami Callihan in a Steel Cage

Callihan won the title after a piledriver off the ropes for the pin. Tessa Blanchard rushed out right after the match and stared Callihan down as the show went off the air.

Cage was bleeding badly early on in the match. Callihan gave him four piledrivers in a row but he kicked out. Cage gave Callihan a buckle bomb into the cage and a discus lariat but he kicked out.

They will be doing replays of the show on Tuesdays at 11pm EST.

I watched this on DVR a couple of hours after it aired and it felt like a long chore. I don’t know if this was the case prior to Anthem buying the network, but I never noticed actual commercials before. I remember the countless bumpers plugging other AXS shows used as TV breaks. Now they keep showing the Frank Thomas male enchantment supplement commercial and ads for class action lawsuits.

Aside from the World Title Match in a cage there was nothing at all special about this show. The rest of it came off dull and the street fight was bush league and the same level of hardcore match that Edwards and Callihan always do.

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